i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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