just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
