Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
