Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
