Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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