I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
