Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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