he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
