i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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