i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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