I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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