You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
jump out the window naked night went bad
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