Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
