I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
