I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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