I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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