I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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