every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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