Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
