He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
