All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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