he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
