Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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