Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
