I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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