oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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