Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
