I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
