Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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