I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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