They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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