you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
