I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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