I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
