Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
