I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
