I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
