Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
