i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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