it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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