This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
