His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can you bring me the toilet please
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
