while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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