yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
