he puts the penis in happiness.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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