i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i out mim tonsoeep
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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