I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
