Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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