you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
