soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
