idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you never un-have a 4some
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
