her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
