i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
