Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
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There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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