ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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