I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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