This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
