Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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