I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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