3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just had sex on a roof
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
