I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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