all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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