He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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