Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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