i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
