I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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