we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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