would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
