is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
