TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
