Im at strip club and am horny
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How does one acquire holy water?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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